Being hassled by egghead beurocrats. Need some creative input

[Ray Cover]

Once again the fine State of MO is wasting more of my tax dollars on bureaucrats who collect statistics that no one but political pundits and politicians will use to formulate the swill they preach back at us to try and influence our vote.

Several months ago I get a form from the Occupational Employment Statistics office in Jefferson City. They want me to fill out the job description and salary for each of my employees. I have a good chuckle and I toss it in the trash. You see if they can't toss me in prison for not filling it out, it goes in the trash. Therefore if it doesn't come from the IRS or Dept or Justice it generally gets recycled.

Well they have sent me two more of these forms in the mean time explaining how the first one must have gotten lost in the mail. Those two forms met the same fate

So a guy from this office actually emails this morning and ask me for the information. My response

"I am a one man shop and have no employees. I would have to contact my accountant and pay to recover the info you are looking for for myself. I don't have the time or the extra cash to deal with that. Every moment I'm not working is time I don't get paid for.

Go bother someone else."

So he emails me back and says well we really don't need your salary if your not comfortable giving that but I need something to write in the box for your job description. As if my little one man operation is going to have any affect on the statistics they make up anyway. :beatup:

I hope he has a really big box to fill in. Here is my list so far. Help me finish it out guys. There has to be some things we engravers do in a one man shop that I am not thinking of.

Here is my job tittle for a self employed engraver:
I am a one man shop, I am laborer, administrator, secretary, janitor, troubleshooter, security, packer, shipper, receptionist, artist, gunsmith, photographer, maintenance man, advertising agent, graphic artist, purchasing agent, teacher,

I need ideas guys I want to give Mr Mack a complete and accurate list for his statistics.

Ray




Ray Cover

 

[Doc Mark]

Accountant, Sales "Specialist", Office Manager, CEO, CFO, COO.

 

[Andrew Biggs]

Hi Ray

Good to see the bureaucrats are alive and well in the USA. I wonder if they emigrated from New Zealand. They are obviously breeding faster than the rest of us and spreading throughout the world.

You can add to the list......chief cook and bottle washer. Complaints manager, floor sweeper, form filler outer and general dogsbody.

And who ever said that us mere males can't multi task!!!

Cheers
Andrew

 

[Sam]

When asked what I do for a living, Abigail tells people "he whittles and doodles". You also fit the description of a whittler and doodler.

 

[Ray Cover]

Oh that's great Sam. Wouldn't that leave him scratching his head!

 

[Dragonsfire]

You must also remember "HELP" line operator, IT specialist, expert dog watcher/trainer, librarian, events planner and sanitation engineer.

 

[Lee]

Let us not forget "garage craftmaker"

 

[RoycroftRon]

On the serious side. Don't forget salesman, merchandiser, and buyer. You got to make and spend the money.

 

[leschowe]

Hi Ray,
I would think that someplace in there that you would say that you were the chief engraver.
Les Schowe

 

[jerrywh]

complaint dept., payroll manager, finance officer, public relations.

 

[richard hall]

Ray. Why waste any more time on that guy ? You deposited the first two letters in the trash, just delete his e-mails !!!! As far as salaries, tell them you are one dollar away from getting food stamps. Tell him, if nothing else, that you have to answer to enough politicans, and you really did not need another one !!!!

 

[Ray Cover]

Actually the fun I have had with you guys over this has been worth it. I have gotten a chuckle out everyone's responses. I guess my way of making lemonade.

Ray

 

[Dulltool]

Lemonade maker!

 

[KCSteve]

Machine tool operator, instructor, cirriculum designer, IT support....

Be interesting to see how many pages we could fill.

 

[Robert Morales]

Don't forget: Head sharpener of small pointy objects.

 

[Tira]

plumber, electrician, legal analyst, banker, big idea thinker, ergonomic specialist, jig maker, mold maker, and you may sing from time to time with the radio.... Good luck.

 

[Idaho Flint]

Don't forget bureaucratic appeaser, and bull****ter of government authorities that try and invade your privacy.

 

[g.rohrbaugh]

Hey Ray, How about Janitor? You do clean your own shop correct?

 

[Peter E]

I don't want to get into a political discussion of any sort, but you can be sure what those bureaucrats are looking to do is get their GREEDY mitts on MORE of your money!

 

[rbslaughter]

Ray, how about "minder of my own business..." Rich