Tell me how this looks please!

bobkeyes · Jul 27, 2009

Well, after about a ream of paper and much lead and eraser this is the best I've done.

I drew it by hand and then copied it to the computer to post here.

Let me know what you think. It's the best I've done so far.

Sam · Jul 27, 2009

Hi Bob. I've made a few suggestions in the attached graphic for you, while attempting to keep as much of your style unchanged as possible. I think you're close to having a workable design, but some areas need attention. The areas I've circled I think deserve another go at redesign, while the others just need some line tweaking here and there in order to improve the flow of the leaves and -even more importantly- render leaves that will be the correct shape for good shading.

The corners, in my opinion, should have leaves that join the scrolls. I'm not saying yours won't work, but this is just my opinion and I think it'll look better as opposed to them floating in space. You do have a good balance of background to scroll, and that's great. So many new designers fail at that and you've handled it well.

The area in the very center I've circled in red is a leaf that doesn't make much sense to me and would be extremely difficult to shade. Scroll and leaves are not random lines and there is a certain logic that makes beautiful designs beautiful. Give another go at that center portion...you can do it!

Cheers / ~Sam

bobkeyes · Jul 27, 2009

Thanks Sam for your reply, but much more for your advice. It's really funny, I can see those things in my mind, but when I start to put them on paper it's as though they have disappeared. Maybe it's my age. :big grin:

I'll work on those areas and get back. Yes, I know I can develop this. It's encouraging that I only have a couple of red marks. The last one I posted looked like it bled to death and rightly so. I see how bad it was now. I'll take that as progress.

Thanks again.

monk · Jul 27, 2009

i like to see background with the design for contrast. i do like that. the top oval sam drew: i think breaks up the overall flow of the main scroll, which is good. the part in the upper left corner: could use a bit of refinement. upper right & lower right corners : hmmm, that just has to be replaced with an integral part of the overall design. this is not a bad design, much can be done with a bit of fiddling with it !

bobkeyes · Jul 28, 2009

Thanks Monk. All suggestions taken. I will continue to refine and post the results.

Arnaud Van Tilburgh · Jul 29, 2009

bobkeyes said:
Thanks Monk. All suggestions taken. I will continue to refine and post the results.

Bob, yes you should do that, as it is the only way to improve. Sometimes one think he can't, that he don't have the skills etc.
I can tell you, everyone can, just keep practising and it will pay off at the end. :thumbs up:

arnaud

bobkeyes · Jul 29, 2009

Thank you for the encouragement Arnaud. I really needed that.

I do get somewhat discouraged from time to time. I draw and draw and it still looks like the same "crap" I started with. But, then I look at the first things I drew and I do see the improvement.

By the way, it is good to keep all your drawings when you are a beginner like me. I keep mine in a loose leaf notebook. That way I can go back and look at them from time to time.

Thanks again Arnaud. I will keep working.

Steve223 · Jul 29, 2009

I feel your pain Bob i have plum wore out a dozen pencils and half a dozen eraisers in the past couple of months. There are improvments, tho if your like me they are slow in comeing just dont give up,Keep pounding away at it. I like your design by the way after the tweaks suggested it should look great.
Steve

bobkeyes · Jul 29, 2009

Thanks Steve. I need the encouragement. I'm not going to give up, but sometimes it seems like a futile effort.

I have looked at your website several times and I wish I could do half as well as you do.

Thanks again. ( I think I will buy some stock in Pink Pearl eraser company :yes .)

bobkeyes · Jul 29, 2009

OK All. Here is a revision. I know it's still not right, but I thought I'd see if you agree I am making some progress.

I value your thoughts and suggestions. Please make them.

KCSteve · Jul 30, 2009

That's got a lot better flow.

I think if you angle that last separate leaf group just a little bit you can make them look like they're coming off of the main stem. Or maybe just move them a hair closer. Right now they look entirely separate and there's really no place for them to have originated.

bobkeyes · Aug 7, 2009

Here is the latest revision. I think it's getting better??????

Please comment! :big grin:

John B. · Aug 8, 2009

Hi Bob,

Big improvement.............BUT
Beef up the center of the scroll to balance with the "weight" of the rest of the design.
Keep going...you're getting closer.
Best

bobkeyes · Aug 8, 2009

John,

Thanks. Is this what you mean??

bobkeyes · Aug 8, 2009

Here is the latest!

Any comments MORE than welcome.

John B. · Aug 9, 2009

Hi Bob,
The center tendril of the scroll looks too thin considering the rest of the design.
Maybe you like it that way but that's how it appears to me.
And the bottom leaf group and scroll backbone run into the bottom border too much and create a visual flat spot.
Just my thoughts.
Best,

bobkeyes · Aug 9, 2009

Thanks John. It IS your opinion, and that of others, that I seek. I see what you mean. I'll keep working.

Thanks again.

John B. · Aug 9, 2009

Bob,
You're on the right track....just keep going.
Best regards,

Tell me how this looks please!

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