Critique Request Finished design?

dcurrie911

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I have made countless changes since my last post. One of the big challenges was consistency from panel to panel and month to month. With your fresh eyes is there something that doesn’t look right or doesn’t flow? Suggestions fo improvement? BTW, the psuedo black leaf top lever was just for fun.

Dan
 

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FANCYGUN

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Dan
To my aging eyes the cat on the bottom looks a smidge to large it looks crowded and just needs a bit more visual breathing room
 

dcurrie911

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Thanks Marty. It is tough to get the proportions right. I am not even sure leopards hunt from trees and how dense the folliadge would be. Some photo’s l’ve seen looks like they do. I’ll tweak him and re-post.

Thanks Sam.
 

dcurrie911

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Increased the size of the impalas and freed up the cat a bit.
 

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dcurrie911

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Oh, I see. Maybe pull away from the ears a little. I was also wondering about the curve of the bottom metal and pulling the scrolls back may help that too?
 

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FANCYGUN

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I still think the head is too large for the area Dan opening up around the ears helps a whole lot but i am not crazy about the head touching the left and right side border it needs a bit of room but thats my opinion and so far nodody else has chimed in with theirs yet
 

FANCYGUN

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On the left frame scene....you are almost getting what is called a merger. Mergers can be bad What is happening the tree is almost coming out of thebanimals head move it tomthe left a bit tomgive them both some room lee and i discuss this all the time
 

take-down

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I would like to ask a "Q" I am by no means an engraver, still when I have time doing a bit on practice plates
The "Q" is it ok to have uneven scrolls one above the other as under the cats head
to my eye they are not tapered down in an even reduction and not in line which stands out compared to the symmetry of the cat
 

Brian Trace

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Dan,
Beautiful work, but I suggest you look at creating more negative space and concentrate on the transition between objects aka Phil & Simon Groggan's work. I agree with previous comments that your main cat is too large and should perhaps be made slightly smaller and not touch the sides. Your subsequent work to create space around the cat was great. Looking at the tree scene, the transition between the scrolls and tree / grass appears confused. Again, I suggest perhaps that you create negative space between the two, that will allow you to finesse the tree and gradually build the grassy foreground. Overall, a stunning design.
 

dcurrie911

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Hi Marty, made changes to both as suggested.

Take-down, do the scrolls look better now?

Brian when you refer to the tree scene are you looking at the butt plate with the cat in the tree or the left panel of the receiver? I tweaked the left panel to remove some leaves which may have not framed the scene as well. If you are referring to the butt plate then I am not sure what you are referring to.

Thanks again to everyone for you suggestions.

Dan
 

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FANCYGUN

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Much much better Dan. No matter how simple or intricate a design is, the eye needs a resting place What i am getting at here is principles of composition These are guidelines used in all forms of visual expression guess that's what happens when you were an art teacher for too many years Many a great technique and ideas have been ruined by poor composition when all else fails...simplify
 

dcurrie911

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Thanks Marty. My original thought was to have the cat look like it was emerging from the bottom metal and scrolls but I was unable to create that look with bent or protruding leaves and scrolls. So I just tightened up the scrolls right up to the head. Lesson learned.

Dan
 

take-down

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Hi Dan
I wish others had commented on my post with their thoughts as I am only a real novice
But to me my eye is drawn straight to the cat now and the I take in the surroundings, Having said that
I like the expression on the cats face, has real attitude
looking very nice
 

FANCYGUN

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Ok Dan now here is the next thing i would like you to try...with the left side scene, i would like you to make the animal a little bit larger and slide it to the left a bit. Heres my rationale, what is the subject of this scene? Usually the subject is the first thing you see. Now when i look at this i am torn between the tree and the animal. So which is more important visually?
Make sense?
 

dcurrie911

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Hi Marty, not sure if I took it too far but as I made the cat bigger the trees became troublesome.

Dan
 

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